Optimus Prime Comes Over For Dinner

Last night, in an effort to improve relations between Autobots and humans, Optimus Prime attended dinner at the house of Mr. and Mrs. S. Witwicky, who he claims to have never met before.

"These humans, whom I have never met before, were kind enough to invite me over for dinner," explains Optimus. "They served my favorite, suckling pig with potatoes au gratin."

"Yeah, we had to raise the ceiling over the kitchen," explains Witwicky, "But it was worth it."

The Autobot leader also performed his own magic show for the family's children.

"Mr. Optimus raised his hand and suddenly, I was in this strange place where everyone was saying, 'You are now one with the Matrix.' By the time I got back, my dinner was cold," says Buster Witwicky, the younger son.

Optimus Prime also reportedly pulled a quarter out from older son Spike's ear, killing him in the process.

"Who'd have thought he'd take his head right off?" questioned Sparkplug. "It was really cute though."

When asked where his wife was during all this, Sparkplug replied, "She was in the kitchen making dinner, where she belongs."