Welcome to Transformers: World's Worst!

Now we know what you're thinking. "What the hell is Transformers: World's Worst?" First off, watch your language, asshole. Secondly, the World's Worst FanFic started in February of 1998 when a boy named WARendfeld posted his "fanfics" to alt.toys.transformers (ATT).

These were no ordinary fanfics. They were perhaps the worst pieces of literature we'd ever read at that point. To give WARendfeld the mocking he so badly deserved at the time, a few ATTers--Picard42, Walky, and Hooks--took it upon ourselves to write a parody called The World's Worst FanFic.

Since then, the WWFF has evolved on its own into a series of general Transformers parodies. While we continued for a long time to mock WARendfeld's character, Echowarrior, who was a dolphin/bat fuzor with the head of a 12-year-old boy (specifically, WARendfeld himself), along with the rest of his oddball cast, we have also developed other running gags based on personality quirks of the characters.

In August of '98, we created Transformers: World's Worst (TFWW), which was initially just an archive of fanfics, along with the World's Worst Newspaper, in which we mocked Transformers in a newspaper format. Later came the screen shots and eventually Ask a Transformer section and all the other miscellaneous crap.

Now we know what you're thinking: "What the hell is wrong with these people? Have they nothing better to do than make fun of some little kid with poor storytelling skills?" Well, no. We really don't.

Here is some information about the creators of Transformers: World's Worst.

HERE'S PIC IN ALL HIS DIMINUITIVE GLORY, SITTING ATOP HIS THRONE. IF HE LOOKS PISSED IT'S PROBABLY BECAUSE PERC JUST IGNORED A "DIRECT ORDER, MISTER." OH, AND DON'T BOTHER TELLING HIM THAT THAT'S A HIGH-CHAIR. HE'LL BITE OFF YOUR PATELLA.

Picard42

Pic is the author of most World's Worst FanFics. He's accomplished this through an understanding that some things, like midgets and lower primates, are inherently funny. It is for this reason that Pic finds Gary Coleman to unintentionally be the funniest person ever to exist. Okay, so maybe you don't find him that funny, but we do, so back off, bitch.

Other than writing horribly funny fanfics, Pic, a midget with a superiority complex, spends most of his time yelling a lot and ordering people around. It's a good thing we all think he's so damn funny, or he'd have been drop-kicked into a sewage treatment plant a long time ago.

OK, SO MAYBE PERC DOESN'T LOOK EXACTLY LIKE THAT. BUT THE PROBLEM IS, HE LOOKS PERFECTLY NORMAL IN PICTURES. THIS IMAGE IS A MUCH BETTER REPRESENTATION OF HIS PERSONALITY. JUST IMAGINE THIS GUY ABOUT 40 YEARS YOUNGER AND WITH GLASSES. THE LIPS ARE ABOUT RIGHT.

PerceptorTFWW

Pic's nerdy sidekick (Or is Pic the sidekick? We never can tell. [He's the sidekick. - Perc]), who does all of the web design and programming for TFWW. He started out as a male model, and after a brief career in the porno industry, Perc settled down and took up web design.

Although he wasn't one of the original creators, a blatant case of favoritism and no small amount of talent led to him co-writing a number of fics, running the web page, and creating much of the plot behind our continuity-bound stories.

 

HERE WE'VE CAPTURED WALKY IN HIS ONE AND ONLY CONTEMPLATIVE MOMENT. OF COURSE, HE'S JUST TIMING HOW LONG IT WILL BE UNTIL HIS NEXT BOWEL MOVEMENT.

Walky

The picture is no exaggeration. Walky is one of the skinniest people we've ever seen. He's the poster child for the right to die movement. After a brush with Walky, starving Ethiopian people say, "Whoa, at least I have my health."

Walky is the creator of Killer Bot King Man, a recurring WWFF character. He's also a genuine freak with a predilection for poo. Really.

 

ONE OF THESE GUYS IS HOOKS. WE'RE NOT QUITE SURE WHICH.

Hooks

Hooks is...well, Hooks. He was also one of the original creators of the World's Worst FanFic. His muscles are inhumanly big and he scores with women. A lot of women. God, we hate him. It's a good thing he doesn't come around here any more, or we might have to KICK HIS ASS! Who are we kidding? We'd have to hide under the sink.

So now you know everything you can possibly know about the World's Worst FanFic without actually reading one. I suggest that you start by reading WARendfeld's first Saga, and then reading the first WWFF. Continue from there and read the rest of WAR's stuff and MG-Dinobot's fics (our other source of inspiration in the beginning) at your own risk.

Note: It's called Ask a Transformer, not Ask AS a Transformer. We don't want to get any more letters from people pretending to be Transformers. We know all the Transformers, and they would never say any of that stuff. For Primus's sake, people, can't you follow instructions? You all make us sick.